I ain’t no wrench-jockey or grease-monkey and my knowledge of cars does not exceed the recognition that E stands for empty on the fuel-tank. The closest mechanical expertise I have is changing a tyre, but over the last 8 years I have this skill-set outsourced to the friendly helpers from the Automobile Association.

I think the idiom “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” does not apply to Landrover and their inferior quality built cars. Owning a Landrover Defender (not by choice) has it perks when I have to compete with taxis at intersections or when I cart around passengers I don’t want to speak to (thanks to engine- and wind-noise, the car creates an impenetrable white-noise wall). Perks aside, driving in the rain (water leaking in from doors and windows) or driving in the cold (draft from the doors) or just parking (when the doors don’t close in cold weather) gives me the true suburbia outdoor experience.

Over the last 18 months I have spent more money at my local dealership than any other sane person would do on a luxury holiday overseas.

NOTICE: This post contained detailed information about Land Rover’s service capabilities (or lack thereof) and the service experience I suffered (including the excessive costs of maintenance/servicing). Land Rover has responded and are investigating now. In all fairness, I will suspend my post and will post an update once Land Rover has come back (with hopefully better news than this morning’s quote)