Around the dinner table

With all the social gatherings with family and friends during the festive season, you are about to run into one of those mundane “I-wish-I-was-somewhere-else” events – that’s when I took mental note of the following “double-ended” conversations over turkey and other things nice:

  • I prefer breasts to legs.
  • Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
  • Smother the butter all over the breasts.
  • If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
  • I’ve never seen a better spread!
  • I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
  • Are you ready for seconds yet?
  • It’s a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?
  • Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
  • Don’t play with your meat!
  • Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
  • Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
  • I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time!
  • You still have a little bit on your chin.
  • How long will it take after you put it in?
  • You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
  • Just pull on the end and wait for the bang.
  • That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had.
  • I’m so full. I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.
  • Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all that and still want more.

I did mention that those conversations occurred during a traditional turkey-day – yes?