Around the dinner table
With all the social gatherings with family and friends during the festive season, you are about to run into one of those mundane “I-wish-I-was-somewhere-else” events – that’s when I took mental note of the following “double-ended” conversations over turkey and other things nice:
- I prefer breasts to legs.
- Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
- Smother the butter all over the breasts.
- If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
- I’ve never seen a better spread!
- I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
- Are you ready for seconds yet?
- It’s a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?
- Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
- Don’t play with your meat!
- Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
- Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
- I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time!
- You still have a little bit on your chin.
- How long will it take after you put it in?
- You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
- Just pull on the end and wait for the bang.
- That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had.
- I’m so full. I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.
- Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all that and still want more.
I did mention that those conversations occurred during a traditional turkey-day – yes?